Six Simple Ways to Tighten Your Writing

Do you ever hear people say things like, “My novel is 240,000 words, but there’s absolutely nothing I can cut”? Or how about, “I know it needs to be shorter, but everything I’ve included is absolutely vital”? I hear those things all the time, and my answer is always the same.

You’re wrong.

You see, when people think about cutting stuff from their novels, they think about slicing through their carefully developed characters or surgically removing some subplot or hacking away at their scenes. And while it might be the case that those need cutting (I haven’t seen every book, after all), more often than not, these huge word counts come from flabby, loose writing.

The truth is almost every sentence in your manuscript can be tightened.

That’s right. I’m talking about the words (they are my favourite part of writing, after all). I’m talking about when to use them – and when you’ve used too many. And more often than not, these huge word counts can be slashed by a third or even a half simply by tightening the writing.

But why does it matter?

The more your reader has to wade through, the more their attention is going to dwindle. All those extra words and redundant phrases are going to chip away at them until they’re no longer interested in whatever point you’re making. And the thing about having a nice tight narrative is that it will allow all the good, juicy stuff to shine through – that stuff you’ve poured your heart and soul into, like plot and character and worldbuilding.

So how do you do it?

For years, I worked for a company that helped foreign – primarily Chinese – students apply for university in the UK and America (in English. My Chinese is pretty poor by any standards). My task was to help them with their personal statements and essay questions. The student would write their piece and send it to me. Then, it would be my job to make it fit into the maximum word count set by the university. Sometimes, I’d have to squeeze 800 words into a 300-word limit without losing a single sentence, without losing any of that essence or personality or information. And I did it! It was a challenge, but I liked it. And I learned loads of ways to tighten my own writing.

He was walking. She is writing an email. They were going to the cinema. Replace this continuous tense with a simple tense instead: he walked; she writes an email; they went to the cinema. You’re saving yourself one word in each of those sentences, and though that doesn’t seem a lot, if you’re using the continuous tense in one part of your novel, the chances are that you’re using it throughout.

Wipe out filler words.

These are those words and phrases that can be taken out of a sentence without impacting the meaning of said sentence at all. They’re often crutch words – words we lean on when we’re thinking – which is why you see them creep up in first drafts. It’s like the written version of an ‘um’ or ‘ah’ – your brain has thrown in this crutch word to give it a bit more time to think up what’s going to come next. It’s not always about the crutch, though.

Sometimes, we’re just wordy. One of my favourite examples I’ve seen is: There was an octopus sitting on top of my car. I like it so much because the image amuses me, but think about the redundant words here – top of to start. There was an octopus sitting on my car works just as well. An octopus was sitting on my car works even better.

What about whole phrases that are redundant? He is the barman in the pub. Do you need in the pub? No, that’s implied by he is the barman. She thought to herself is another one I see often – who else is she thinking it to (unless telepathy features in your novel)? Remove to herself, and you save yourself two words, but chances are you don’t need the phrase at all. Chances are, you’re using italics to denote direct thought, in which case it’ll be obvious.

Stop filtering the action through your character’s senses

This one is a biggie in the ‘show, don’t tell’ world, and I’m sure you all know about it by now. But when you filter the action through the character’s senses, not only does it distance your reader from your action, but you’ve added a whole bunch of words that don’t need to be there.

Let’s take a quick look at some examples. She heard the thunder in the distance becomes thunder roared above. Seven words become two, and the sentence is naturally more compelling. He saw the mountain in front becomes the mountain loomed ahead. Six words become four, and you’ve used a stronger verb. They felt the floor move beneath their feet becomes the ground rumbled. Eight words become three, and the reader is thrown into the mix to experience it for themselves.

Filtering through your character's senses puts a barrier between the action and the reader - and that's generally not something you want. 

Be careful with prepositions

Prepositions are those little words that go between other words – of, as, on, in. These words obviously have their place, but sometimes, we use them to make a sentence wordier than it needs to be. Take, for example, she’s the chairman of the company board. Switch it up – she’s the company board chairman. You’ve saved yourself two words. Another use of preposition I see all the time is all of – he ate all of the popcorn could simply be he ate all the popcorn.

Watch out for those linking verbs

A linking verb is a verb that links a subject with a predicate noun. In other words, it helps to describe someone by linking them to a noun. Look at this example: she is a teacher at the local school. How could this be worded more tightly? By taking out the linking verb. She teaches at the local school.

Be wary of the passive voice

The passive voice doesn’t have the best reputation, does it? It does have a place in writing but don’t overdo it. There are lots of reasons why you don’t want the passive voice everywhere in your novel, but apart from anything, it’s wordier than the active voice. The duck was chased by the dog is seven words. The dog chased the duck is five. Consider all your instances of passive voice in your manuscript and ask yourself which is more important – the focus on the action or saving those precious words.

Remember to get rid of all those extra words that don't help, those words that mean nothing or add little. Keep chopping until your sentence is tight and efficient - but stop before your manuscript becomes cold and you lose your voice. It's a fine line, but it's one that's easy to find with a little practice. 

Happy writing!